So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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