Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
