oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
