GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
