next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
