He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She needs sedatives and a leash
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
