watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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