all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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