Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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