My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
