What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
