Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
