I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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