just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
