you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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