4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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