I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
