I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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