idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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