This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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