I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
