you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
