i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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