just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
