Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
