Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
