Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
