i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
