I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
