My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
