I hate all girls vehemently.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
