Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
His nipple licking is glorious
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