if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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