why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Drunk is a universal language darling
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
