Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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