when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
