did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
my being single is dangerous.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
