Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think people are normalizing furries
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