dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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