I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
