I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize