oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
