none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
