Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
