i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
