Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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