I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
