Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
