the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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