Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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