I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
