You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
