I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize