I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
