dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
