We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
