Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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