Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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