honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
