i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
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I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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