just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
