chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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