tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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