There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
