i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
