I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize