im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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