What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize