he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize