Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
