tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
