For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize