Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
